Save Me

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Sometimes, I wonder: what’s the point of writing this when no one even bothers to read this
Perhaps, I’m still hoping that someone cares.
Perhaps someone would listen.
Perhaps, I’m still hoping that someone would notice.
And then what’s next?
What do I want from this?
Do I need sympathy?
Do I need someone to feel sorry for me?
What do I really want and are my wants different from what I need? 
Questions…
These are the things that keep me up at night.
These are the nightmares that haunt me even though my eyes are still wide open.
Where do I go from here? 
What is my worth? 
What’s the meaning of my life? 
Who am I? 
More than the monsters in my imagination, I more scared of myself. 
I am scared of what I have become and what I will become.
Is there a cure for this insanity?
What path should I take?
Which path should I take when all that’s before seemed like dead ends?
No matter where I go,
no matter what I do and even if I run away
how can I be free from nightmares when I am my own nightmare?
Why? 
Why? 
Why? 
Why? 
Why? 
If I will answer all your questions will you be able to analyze me?
Will you be able to comprehend the mess within my mind?
But how?
When we are all so good at saying that people are different and nobody’s alike?
Tell me how then will you be able to understand?
Do I need understanding then?
Or do I really need saving?
How do I become free? 
I am nothing but a fool.
Why do I still question when I know what to do.
And yet, with the coward that I am, I refuse to do so.
I am able but I am not willing. 
Have I dwelled too much in the shadows that the sunshine hurts my eyes?
Or I am just waiting here to rot as I wait for the knight that will never arrive?
Still, please, someone,
save me from myself.