Aftermath
Chapter 1
Yellow,
brown,
red,
orange colored cardboard butterflies fastened unto braided yellow strings on knotted sticks hang upon the ceiling. I watched it moved slowly as the wind from the electric fan passed. Butterflies and the color of autumn remind me of both him and her. It reminds me of my two best friends, whom I both love so dear; whom I love too much.
This is a story about love, this is our story, this is a story about our love...
*typing*
"What should I do? I've prayed about it. I told myself that I was going to feel nothing for him. I told myself that I'll only see him as my brother. But it's still the same. I'm confused."
*ping* a sound escaped my computer the moment she replied appeared on the screen.
"I'll continue praying for you. Just guide your heart." was her reply.
My conversations with her had been almost always about him. Sometimes it already feels awkward because it seemed like I had no life apart from my life when I am with him. But I couldn't help it. I feel like I am about to explode. I can't keep it inside me. I want to tell the whole world that I like him but I must not because it might cause the end of our friendship. Though I want him to be my lover it is more important for me to be his friend. So that's why the only person I could confide to is her, because aside from him, she's the only one I feel that I could trust anything to. She is my best friend after all.
Moments after she logged off, I heard a familiar sound. It was a motorbike, his motorbike. It stopped in front of my apartment; he stopped in front of my apartment. He stood there a showed off that goofy smile that was both annoying and adorable to me. He then motioned his hands as if to call me towards him. A frown crossed my face as I walked outside to meet him.
"What brings you here?" I asked as I walked towards where he was.
"Let's have lunch together," he said.
I smiled and nodded and headed back inside to change. Thoughts were racing in my mind at that time. "Why is he so nice lately?" “Is it because we are best friends?” “But how come it feels like he is treating me as more that his friend?” I asked myself. "And how come he is only like this to me?" "Am I special to him?" "Does he like me?" And what if he does...What should I do?
"Text the other," he said as I mounted on his motorbike. He was always like that; he doesn't want anyone teasing us that's why he never forget to invite our friends whenever we hang out. So why do this with me? Why do I even come with him? My feelings are pathetic, I tell you. My mind says don't go but my heart says go. I knew it was best not to go if I want to move on but I went anyway. It was good that people were coming and yet even though there would be other people around, to me, it's still just me and him around. It's always only him that I see. Maybe that's why I can't seem to let go of him, because I can't stop thinking about him, I can't stop being around him. I can't stop myself from being around him because I feel the happiest in the place where he is at. This is insane, I am insane!
There were already a couple of our friends there when we reached our favorite food court. The food court somehow was very special to me because it's where we always hang out, it's where I get to see during school days, it's where I get to see him when he is busy, it's where I have a lot of memories of me and him. But it was a Saturday, so I guess it adds to the list of my memories, a Saturday when we had lunch together.
It didn't take long before the rest of the group arrived and occupied the empty seats surrounding the table and chattering slowly filled the air. Time seemed so fast whenever I'm with him. All the other conversations that I had with my friends during lunch are a haze for all that mattered were his words. The only presence that mattered to me was his presence.
"Let's go to the cafe," he said and I just smiled and nodded. Somehow, that's all I could manage to say that day. The cafe was near so it didn't took us long to reach the place. No one else wanted to come so it was just the two of us. It was just us again.
"So tell me who the girl is." I blurted out of the blue. Yes, learned that he adores someone. But it didn't crush me; on the contrary, it uplifted me. In my mind, I had hopes that I was me that he likes. It must be me since I'm the only girl that he treats so special aside from her, our other friend who she doesn't hang without me. So it must be me. If it were me, then is it good that I wasn't able to move on because there is no need to move on. But if it's me then it's the best reason I could grasp so to let go of him.
He let out a burst of soft hearty laughter and asked, "Why suddenly talk about that?"
“I just want to know. I’m you’re friend right so it’s okay to tell me?
“What kind of excuse is that?” he retorted.
“I demand to know!” I exclaimed jokingly.
“If I tell you mine, will you tell me who’s this guy you are head over heals with?” he said with a grin.
“Head over heals my foot!”
He laughed and said, “You don’t need to be shy, it’s obvious that you are so into deep about this guy. I just glared at him and remained silent. Am I really into deep? Perhaps I really am. Because if I wasn’t, then why would I be here? Sometimes I feel like he knows that it is him that I like. And if he does that means I had been making a fool of myself for so long now.
But today was it. Today will decide if I was going to continue liking him or to finally let go of him. Then her, I suddenly remembered her. Could it be?
Yellow,
brown,
red,
orange colored cardboard butterflies fastened unto braided yellow strings on knotted sticks hang upon the ceiling. I watched it moved slowly as the wind from the electric fan passed. Butterflies and the color of autumn remind me of both him and her. It reminds me of my two best friends, whom I both love so dear; whom I love too much.
This is a story about love, this is our story, this is a story about our love...
*typing*
"What should I do? I've prayed about it. I told myself that I was going to feel nothing for him. I told myself that I'll only see him as my brother. But it's still the same. I'm confused."
*ping* a sound escaped my computer the moment she replied appeared on the screen.
"I'll continue praying for you. Just guide your heart." was her reply.
My conversations with her had been almost always about him. Sometimes it already feels awkward because it seemed like I had no life apart from my life when I am with him. But I couldn't help it. I feel like I am about to explode. I can't keep it inside me. I want to tell the whole world that I like him but I must not because it might cause the end of our friendship. Though I want him to be my lover it is more important for me to be his friend. So that's why the only person I could confide to is her, because aside from him, she's the only one I feel that I could trust anything to. She is my best friend after all.
Moments after she logged off, I heard a familiar sound. It was a motorbike, his motorbike. It stopped in front of my apartment; he stopped in front of my apartment. He stood there a showed off that goofy smile that was both annoying and adorable to me. He then motioned his hands as if to call me towards him. A frown crossed my face as I walked outside to meet him.
"What brings you here?" I asked as I walked towards where he was.
"Let's have lunch together," he said.
I smiled and nodded and headed back inside to change. Thoughts were racing in my mind at that time. "Why is he so nice lately?" “Is it because we are best friends?” “But how come it feels like he is treating me as more that his friend?” I asked myself. "And how come he is only like this to me?" "Am I special to him?" "Does he like me?" And what if he does...What should I do?
"Text the other," he said as I mounted on his motorbike. He was always like that; he doesn't want anyone teasing us that's why he never forget to invite our friends whenever we hang out. So why do this with me? Why do I even come with him? My feelings are pathetic, I tell you. My mind says don't go but my heart says go. I knew it was best not to go if I want to move on but I went anyway. It was good that people were coming and yet even though there would be other people around, to me, it's still just me and him around. It's always only him that I see. Maybe that's why I can't seem to let go of him, because I can't stop thinking about him, I can't stop being around him. I can't stop myself from being around him because I feel the happiest in the place where he is at. This is insane, I am insane!
There were already a couple of our friends there when we reached our favorite food court. The food court somehow was very special to me because it's where we always hang out, it's where I get to see during school days, it's where I get to see him when he is busy, it's where I have a lot of memories of me and him. But it was a Saturday, so I guess it adds to the list of my memories, a Saturday when we had lunch together.
It didn't take long before the rest of the group arrived and occupied the empty seats surrounding the table and chattering slowly filled the air. Time seemed so fast whenever I'm with him. All the other conversations that I had with my friends during lunch are a haze for all that mattered were his words. The only presence that mattered to me was his presence.
"Let's go to the cafe," he said and I just smiled and nodded. Somehow, that's all I could manage to say that day. The cafe was near so it didn't took us long to reach the place. No one else wanted to come so it was just the two of us. It was just us again.
"So tell me who the girl is." I blurted out of the blue. Yes, learned that he adores someone. But it didn't crush me; on the contrary, it uplifted me. In my mind, I had hopes that I was me that he likes. It must be me since I'm the only girl that he treats so special aside from her, our other friend who she doesn't hang without me. So it must be me. If it were me, then is it good that I wasn't able to move on because there is no need to move on. But if it's me then it's the best reason I could grasp so to let go of him.
He let out a burst of soft hearty laughter and asked, "Why suddenly talk about that?"
“I just want to know. I’m you’re friend right so it’s okay to tell me?
“What kind of excuse is that?” he retorted.
“I demand to know!” I exclaimed jokingly.
“If I tell you mine, will you tell me who’s this guy you are head over heals with?” he said with a grin.
“Head over heals my foot!”
He laughed and said, “You don’t need to be shy, it’s obvious that you are so into deep about this guy. I just glared at him and remained silent. Am I really into deep? Perhaps I really am. Because if I wasn’t, then why would I be here? Sometimes I feel like he knows that it is him that I like. And if he does that means I had been making a fool of myself for so long now.
But today was it. Today will decide if I was going to continue liking him or to finally let go of him. Then her, I suddenly remembered her. Could it be?
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